From Bion’s Container to Meltzer’s Claustrum: Intrusive Identification in Couples

Why do people remain in unsatisfying or even toxic relationships? What is the
glue that binds these couples together? Why do this couples seem even more
attached than happy ones? This talk will explore these questions through two key
concepts in Donald Meltzer’s writing: “intrusive identification” and the
“claustrum”. These concepts illuminate how some couples develop interlocking,
mutually unsatisfying, and sometimes destructive patterns of engaging. Meltzer’s
ideas also contextualize common feelings these couples express, such as feeling
trapped, suffocated, or held hostage. Along with elucidating and applying these
ideas, this presentation will discuss how to work more effectively with these types
of couples.

1. Describe how projective identification functions differently in healthier vs. more
disturbed couples
2. Define intrusive identification and the claustrum
3..Apply these two concepts to couples dynamics